Organ Shoes

I have had the same pair of size 10 women’s Organmaster organ shoes since I began studying the organ my senior year at Susquehanna University in 1996. The leather has become very worn, but they have served me well for twenty years. They are like old friends who have seen me through many life events. Most recently, they graced my feet as I played for my father-in-law’s funeral in September.

This past fall, when my mother-in-law gave me Brian’s collection of organ music, she also presented me with his organ shoes. She had no idea that they would actually fit my long, narrow feet. I bought a special shoebox for them, and put them in my office at the church where I work.

I have been struggling with health and work issues over the past few months. Playing the organ always centers me, but I find it difficult to get to an organ to play. (The church where I work only has a Clavinova.) Somehow, on Wednesday, I found my way to the church where my wife and I are members. I took the box containing Brian’s shoes with me. It seemed like I was taking them home.

It did not feel strange at all when I put on Brian’s organ shoes; it felt right that they should now be on my feet. I sat down on the organ bench. I had this amazing feeling that I was returning the shoes to where they belonged, the organ. I was using the shoes to once again make music.

I just sat and played. First, the prelude I had played for Brian’s funeral. Then some Bach. Although the shoes fit me, they were a different style than the women’s variety. They had shoe strings instead of straps and buckles. The one-inch heels were longer, and the toes were broader. My pedaling was initially sloppy; my toes kept hitting more than one note at a time. But as I got used to the shoes, my pedaling improved. I went on to sight-read some Eric Thiman that a former organ teacher had given me. I finished by playing hymns in the Hymnal 1982 and the Schubert Sanctus and Fraction Anthem. The last thing I played was the Trisagion that had once meant so much to me: Holy God, holy and mighty, holy immortal one, have mercy upon us.

When I packed up my things, I put Brian’s organ shoes in my music bag. And I put my shoes in the shoebox and took them out to the car. The transition was complete.